THE SOUL
Name:Wisely Thomas Wee
Age: 29
DOB: 8th Jan 1980
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Occupation: Assistant Marketing Manager
Industry: Engineering
I Am
~ Just a simple guy
Looking for a simple girl
To have a simple love
To lead a simple life
Which is the hardest thing to do~
I Love
~ Music
~ Bowling
~ Sleeping
~ Eating
~ Coffee & Tea
~ Freedom
I Want
~ To complete my degree asap
~ To get my driving license
~ To build on my career
~ To get my own car
~ To get my own house
~ To find my simple girl
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Emo Shit...
This is definitely going to be a long post.. Those who are not interested in my emo shit…
Skip…
~*~
Was thinking what I should be doing on Monday evening yesterday.
I have been meeting her for straight 112 days, that’s coming to 4 months.
Now, without her, evenings became long and bored and practically lifeless..
Fang was at Vivo with her colleagues after her class, so asked her to meet me instead to go Chinatown Popular to look for books and look for lighters as well..
Well, when reaching there, I realized the god damm Popular has closed down. Fuck!
I cant get any lighters too cos most are for tourists with the word Singapore or the Merlion logo. Crap…
End up, Fang suggested going to her friend’s pub for a drink. Happy hours, just a jug.
Cant remember the name of the pub but its somewhere near Crystalbelle. Pretty new pub.
So we ordered a jug and started drinking. Fang dedicated a song to me. When they played it, I can only smile sadly and sing along with it.
The song is really so so so telling the exact situation I am in now.
Wanna guess what song? Cantonese song by Jordan Chan, 陈小春.. I will post it later…
After that, I put one song which I used to let her listen first time at Acoustic. 好心好报…
I have posted this song in my blog before about 2months back I supposed.
That time I told her, this song… Spells the situation we both are in…
Well, I had merely a mug bit more last night. Then went outside with Fang to smoke. After 2 sticks, I went to the washroom.
Once again, not the first time, being in the washroom, I started hearing muffled noises and sounds. I knew, I was done for it. Then my eyes blurred and I lay over the wall for support for I knew, if there aint any support, I am sure to fall to my feet.
Before I knew it, I slipped and fell. Phone fell out, luckily not into the drainage hole. My cig case got dented, spoiled. *thankfully, toilet was clean
I tried standing up, for a minute and so, I stepped out and washed my face.
Went back to my seat and just close my eyes to relax. Fang saw me but didn’t say anything. Cos though I just looked in a terrible state but I could walk fine.
Everytime when like that, I will feel bloated and tired. Tired, tears will flow, but if you were to ask me, seriously, I have no idea is it cos I was tired that’s why I teared or cos of the pain in my heart.
This was the time when emotions came attacking and you felt really like a piece of shit.
During these 2 hours or so, Lin did keep sms me.
Till I told her I almost knocked out, she started calling and calling me non-stop.
I didn’t pick up; Phone was in silent mode in my pocket but I cant feel much.
Little did I know, she and QY actually went pub to pub around the area to look for me.
She called William to look for me. William didn’t manage to get me as well…
I knew, she was swearing away all the while calling me cos she didn’t like people who don’t pick up calls. QY also swearing away.
End up, when I was crossing the road, I picked up Lin’s called. I knew my 语气 aint that good. I just asked what she wants and she asked me where am I. End up, kena screamed at : 喜欢你啦！*It apparently means Up To You! Not literally that meaning... Den phone went dead…
Surprisingly, William saw me and asked me to get up.
I wanted to take a cab back initially. Fang already went off to meet her friends.
After I got up, Lin called again. Then we went further down the road to pick up her and QY and send them to Boat Quay.
My sincere apology to all of you regarding this matter. I know I created troubles for all of you, as what lin sms me and scolded me, in a way.
I am really sorry.
~*~
I felt like such a lousy person, such a loser.
Others wanna emo, can go drink.
I wanna emo, drink abit only I gone.
For those who know me, will know that I cant drink and I used to be allergic.
Went with William to Maxwell to eat, then to Clementi to get his fish then home.
Lin sms me asked me to get home, take a hot bath, drink hot water and grab a good rest.
Seeing such a sms, aches my heart. The concern is there, but I know, its different. The feeling is different, the status is different.
~*~
I know, I haven’t been myself these days. My mood and energy level is at its lowest.
But yet, I didn’t wanna rest. I been forcing myself to stay up late, walking around town and all. That’s because I didn’t like to spend the last moment before I sleep thinking about things. It’s a killer.
Apparently, that didn’t work well. Before I sleep, I will see my phone and all. There it is, the wallpaper on my phone, picture of us.
I know people will be asking “Who ask you put there? Change La! Siao!”
I don’t know. I refuse. I do change over here and there. But it’s the same.
It’s the heart and mind. Heart is with her… Mind always like to look for her anytime.
I am sorry. To anyone who has been around for me…
I brought all these to myself, but you people don’t deserve all these emo things from me… I am sorry…
Apology.. again…
~*~
Song… by Jordan Chan…
取消资格 陈小春
老友看见我 也会惊讶
平日杯酒不沾 今晚总喝不厌
浅灰色烟圈 浸没了我的脸
宁愿听旧笑话 安慰可免则免
我说我爱你 够份量了吗
我努力试探你 接受我的真心可以吗
我太过爱你 你会被我吓怕 不是吗
怎么你眼里只得他
我也不知道如今这算甚么
你是否非他不嫁
当选了是他 我认输 都不可怕
最怕其实被取消资格
还不知道 拼命挣扎
如今这算甚么 我是否这么讨厌
只知道付出 以后都不知怎算
最怕其实是输得很远
还不知道 惹人生
The Heart is still bleeding and aching...
Getting worse than better...
Sorry...
The Soul feels @ 7:05 PM *~The Lost Soul~*
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